Wintry Knight has a Tradcon staple of a post up, “ARE YOU READY FOR MARRIAGE? 10 QUESTIONS TO FIND OUT HOW PREPARED YOU ARE”, presumably directed at women since no sane man would approve of no-fault divorce and such.
Are you ready for marriage? 10 questions to find out how prepared you are
The premise that asking a young woman for her beliefs on topics such as child care and small gov’t measures her marriageability is fatally flawed. Women are emotional, not rational. Today she sincerely loves you, tomorrow she will sincerely hate you, repeat next week. The assumption that what she believes as an unmarried 18yo indicates what she will believes as a married 38yo is wishful thinking… thinking that the female brain acts just like the male brain, hence the Tradcon reference.
As an alternative, I offer just two questions to gauge her worthiness:
1. Does she have crazy eyes? Incurable STDs? (Since virginity is generally off the table.)
2. Does she refuse to wear pants?
That’s all. A marriage-worthy female knows how to keep her legs together and acts feminine in defiance of peer pressure. That’s all you need for a good start, a salvageable female with a couple healthy habits. None of this “Are you a registered Libertarian” or “is your long-term life goal being a stay-at-home-Mom”. Chicks are great at giving the correct answer. Not so great at meaning it for longer than a month. If you take away nothing else from this article then take away this: don’t ask a female if she’s a good marital risk. Look instead. She’ll tell you whatever you want to hear.
Of course, this is insufficient to ensure a marriage stands the test of time. There is nothing the groom can do or check to ensure that. (Aside from moving her out to the boonies and keeping her busy with 15 children, which has actually become a thing.) This is why good gov’t tracks and enforces the marriage vows. Preventing people from reneging on their agreements is an essential duty of good gov’t. Once she says “I do”, she is not allowed by the authorities to divorce whether she wants it or not. THAT is something that can stand the test of time. That is something the groom can count on.
Which explains a few things in the modern era. Example, why husbands don’t kill their feral wives. The problem is not that wifey wants out–Christ and the saints had to teach “do not divorce” because people routinely get around to wanting out–it’s that gov’t, whose job is to rein in wifey when it happens, rewarded her instead. It’s not treachery when a marriage hits hard times. It’s treachery when those whose job is to cover your back, give you a shove instead.
One-man jihads against the State aren’t going to keep your family intact.
It also explains why unofficial marriage has not caught on with the traditional-thinking folks. “We don’t need government approval to get married!” So you have an informal ceremony with only the priest and God for witnesses, live happily for a few years, then Stella asks Chad for help in getting her groove back. What can hubby do, when there isn’t even a public record of the marriage? Ask Friar Bob to wave a registry book?
There is no replacement for gov’t enforcement of marriage vows. “Gov’t” may not mean civil government specifically here; it can mean Church authority or even the next-door neighbors. Here’s the kicker, though: whatever “gov’t” you choose to enforce marriage must have the power to detect and punish evil. Is your priest going to use the churchyard stockade on the wayward spouse? Are your neighbors willing and capable of tracking down wifey in another state and kidnapping your kids back to you? I’ll guess no. No more than the divorce courts will inflict humiliating punishments upon Barbie pour encourager les autres.
If the authorities of society will not enforce marriage than marriage is dead. Full stop. It’s become nothing more than two people wishing each other well and applying for joint tax status. There is nothing ordinary folks can do to bring it back. This is our leaders’ fault, not ours. Do not advocate ways to “make marriage work regardless”. Advocate the replacement our treacherous, God-hating leaders.
Minimizing the predictors of divorce is like minimizing risks in a casino. That’s good, that’s smart, but if you really were smart then you wouldn’t be there.
‘Minimizing the predictors of divorce is like minimizing risks in a casino. That.s good, that.s smart, but if you really were smart then you wouldn.t be there.’
I get what you are saying but there needs to be a caveat here….if you live a life trying to avoid risk, you’ll never live a life.
You don’t have to get married and you don’t have to play blackjack…but don’t live a life where everything is based on avoiding risk. There are some things in life that are inherently risky…such as serving the Lord.
Earl sez ..
I disagree.
Life is dangerous. And you can’t momma proof it .. true.
But .. you can Transfer, Eliminate, Accept and / or Mitigate Risk.
You have four choices .. not one (re: avoid [sic] .. aka eliminate].
I’m a whole lot more cautious now than I every was as a youngman. I live almost the same life. Just with more thought and mitigating.
BUT .. again .. it needs to be said just like in the above reading .. just because she believes one thing today .. she’s free to believe something else and never see a problem with that .. because she believes it at the time.
Frankly .. I failed at finding a viable womminz for marriage .. I’m not disappointed .. I was never gar-aunt-teed one anyway.
GQ ..
On the Gov’ (all examples you provided are included) being involved .. it only Mitigates the chances of Divorce.
I believe true reform is needed .. therefore it should be the (contract) COURTS where this should be TRANSFERRED to .. our current system is a ponzy scheme run by pure corruption. Return divorce to a system of justice (vice equality).
If .. and that’s a (big) IF .. we return to real contract law and return marriage to HIS rights as the owner of her reproductivity .. then we have a workable system. Once again .. but .. and that’s a (big) BUT .. I don’t see that happenin’.
Without teeth in her breaking contract law .. all the witnesses in the world mean nothing. Especially if you have specialized (non-justice) courts to handle her dirty work.
For example .. th wimminz know that there is almost zero chance of being prosecuted for fraud .. of any kind .. and out-right lies are rewarded and prompted by her attorney (e.g. abuse; of all kinds) without re-pro-cuse-shins.
I can’t be a party to recommending marriage until this is fixed (i.e. contract law of marriage and the court system of equality).
.. If you are wondering about pre-nup’s .. i.e. TRANSFER risk .. they are only good when th wimminz use them on men .. men should never count on them. (I know they work occassionally .. but its a statistical blip on the radar.)
.. All that’s left for men to do is ACCEPT the risk of marriage .. or don’t. There really isn’t any other choice.
..
..
(1) Risk can be TEAM (transfered, eliminated, accepted and/or mitigated).
only divorce is enforced, by that I mean transfer of your current and future assets to her by the goverment, and denial of you to spend fair time with your kids enforced by her and the police.
how lovely. and GS you are correct, many females will say anything to get what they want after all what is truth to a woman, just a fleeting wisp that lasts but a moment.
@honeycomb, yep ive seen it, prenups only enforced for the ladies, men its not worth the toilet paper its written in in front of ANY Judge, she thinks well this isn’t fair as it doesn’t give her more than the current gov marriage law.
strike.
its not marriage you need to fear, its divorce. marriage dosnt actually mean anything, there is nothing enforced in a marriage, its just an agreement that allows you to apply the terms of divorce to someone.
Minesweeper sez..
I agree .. but I also disagree .. and here’s one example why.
Threat-Point is real .. without a word said by the wifey.
Yesterday a buddy and me put a heavy duty industrial smoker together .. well actually I put it together and he supplied the (german) beer .. we’ll smoke some brisket and wings today .. ..
After the build party .. I did some other mechanical work he can’t do .. he’s a very good work buddy .. so I help him out as much as possible .. he’s closer to retirment than me and he is a CPA .. yeah .. he does my taxes for free and I help him do the dirty jobs he can’t.
I’m building a picture of a married man here for a reason.
We decided to go get food after all work was done for his daughter and us. His wife decided (to finally to get out of bed and make her presences known) that she wanted food and wine if we were going out .. and he didn’t even check up .. sigh.
She expects him to have a full-time job .. pay all the bills and do most of the house work .. all the outside house work .. sleeps all the time when she’s at home .. it’s a subtle demanding attitude she uses. She might cook once a week. She has their daughter (who is almost out of high school) do all the domestic duties. The daughter hates her.
I gave him a little grief about his beta tendancies .. he knows it’s beta .. but he doesn’t like the fight she puts up if she’s ever not happy or not pampered.
She doesn’t have to divorce him. Heck it’d be cheaper than keepin’ her .. she’s a train-wreck finanically on him .. and he’s a CPA .. he’s a numbers guy. He’s been divorced once before. He knows it would be cheaper to divorce her. Yest he doesn’t.
And yes she uses sex as a weapon.
He’s well aware of my teachings .. but he’s old school .. e.g. “if you aren’t married your not a success” kind guy.
She hates me .. cuz he’d rather go out with the guys than be at home with her .. even when she’s sleepin’ she thinks he shouldn’t go out with the fella’s.
At least he fights for his right to go out with the guys. But he caves on everything else. He sez .. “you have to pick your battles.”
To which I reply .. “I did .. I didn’t marry a mondern womminz.”
@honeycomb, not quite seeing what you are saying, in fact it proves my point, there is nothing enforced, there is nothing he can do in their marriage to hold her to love, honor, obey, or fulfill your sex obligations.
only divorce is enforced, and as for other allegations they can happen outside of marriage too, no protection in marriage from these for you ! that would discriminatory.
My point is divorce is the best option in a bad marriage.
None of these cowz are worth being married to .. it’s the worst option really.
Marriage is not easier than divorced in a bad (and they almost all are) marriage.
So, there is no upside to marriage .. divorces are worth it for a reason.
(1) I’m talking from a biblical manner .. just from a legal matter.
FIXED IT ..
(1) I.m NOT talking from a biblical manner .. just from a legal matter.