An exceptional year deserves an exceptional submission! What’s a man to do when he’s forced to choose between telling his wife No and telling a random server girl No? It’s an inverted love triangle between the wife of his dreams and the waitress whose name he can’t remember!
AITA for telling our server she had a beautiful scalp at my wife’s birthday dinner?
h ttps://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/k06zdp/aita_for_telling_our_server_she_had_a_beautiful/
By Asshole, 24 November 2020
Let’s call him “Bub”.
This happened before the coronavirus was a thing in case you’re wondering. Obviously right now we’re staying in as much as possible and supporting local business through take out and delivery.
He’s off to a strong start by signaling irrelevant virtues!
So this was over a year ago and my wife won’t let it go. I’m looking for some external input. I took my wife to our favorite local spot for her birthday. Everything was good as usual, but we had a server neither of us had seen before with a somewhat striking appearance: she was completely bald. Normally I wouldn’t say anything about something like that because I’m afraid of being rude, but toward the end of the dinner the server made a joke about she and I having the same haircut (I.m bald).
Motivation by fear. I wouldn’t have said anything in that situation because I don’t want fugly feminists spitting in my food. Motivation by hygiene.
I said something along the lines of, .I don’t mean to be rude, but I’m curious. Are you bald by choice?. It turns out she was, which was a great relief to me since I didn’t want to pry into it if she was sick or involuntary bald for some reason.
Cuck confirmed! If she’d been “involuntarily bald” then noticing would have been an insult, but “voluntary bald” is beautiful!
She was more than happy to talk about it and told me all about how she.d always loved bald heads and wanted to try it. She said she got positive feedback and just kept her head shaved. I told her I loved that and I thought women could look very beautiful bald even though it’s not something you see often. I told her she had a great head shape for it…
“Head shape”? Seriously?
…and joked about offering razor recommendations. It was light conversation and that was the end of it.
The waitress shaved her head because she’s past the Slut Event Horizon and possibly a transsexual. She brought it up because she wanted validation that cutting her hair off had been a good idea, which it NEVER IS!! Women, DO NOT CUT YOUR HAIR! Any man who says the chemotherapy look is good for women is a lying pussy-beggar.
For the rest of the meal my wife was silent. I could tell something was wrong. When we got to the car, there was a moment of pause between us and I asked if something was wrong. She replied, “Are we going to stop at Walgreens and pick up some clippers?. I asked her what she meant and she said obviously since I was enthralled with our server’s shaved head she had to do something to win her husbands attention back. I was “blatantly” flirting with our server, apparently. It spiraled into a huge fight with my wife accusing me of wanting to experiment with an exotic-looking woman because I was tired of my boring old wife.
For once, I totally understand a woman’s side of the argument. She works on her hair, tries to be pretty, then THIS shows up…
…and gets a compliment & flirting from him!
I can’t deny that in the moment, I probably looked like I was flirting with our server. It was not intentional, but I guess I realize how it could’ve seemed inappropriate at my wife’s birthday dinner. I did find her attractive…
No. NO, Bub. She was NOT attractive. She was BALD.
…but my wife will always come first. I’m attracted to her and I love her. That’s why I married her. Even now she makes little references like .I guess I’m not as interesting as a bald goddess. or “Does this look good on me or do I need to show some scalp?.
So am I the asshole for this? I just want things to be okay. I’ve tried apologizing but nothing will stop it.
That’s the problem, Bub. You wanted to be nice to everybody. When a waitress tried to fish a compliment out of you for the way she mutilated her natural beauty, you gave it while your wife glared in fully justified frustration. The proper response was, “You look ugly. Baldness is only for men. Do you even try anymore?” But that required telling a woman No, now didn’t it?
(Pro-tip, it also requires your food to be delivered first. For hygiene’s sake, y’know.)
And that’s why Bub’s marriage has been rocky for a year now. He hasn’t found a way to validate his wife caring about her appearance that doesn’t in-validate his validation of a waitress who defiantly did NOT care about her appearance. We must defend muh’Lady’s honor! but which Lady? My wife or that one waitress from last year? Don’t make me choose!
But wait, there’s more!
EDIT: I’m starting to see people making comments that seem to indicate it is never okay to talk about balding in public. I reject this completely. I did not bring this up out of nowhere; the topic came up when the server pointed out (in a jovial fashion) that she and I had the same haircut. It was a brief conversation with zero negative or uncomfortable vibes, and when we left I said bye to the server and she pointed at her head and gave me a little thumbs up. I get the feeling we would’ve got along well as friends. So this isn’t the issue.
“I love you AND I want to be friends with her!”
EDIT 2: Good grief you guys, let me clear something up. My wife is 25 and I am 24. The server looked older than both of us, probably early 30s.
Right on schedule for the Epiphany phase.
So anything saying in flirting with a younger woman is wrong. Also my wife suggested I don’t find her attractive anymore which is completely wrong. Why would I marry someone I didn’t think was capital H O T?? She’s plenty attractive.
Is female baldness attractive to men, yes or no? Yes: your wife shaves herself bald for you. Cue impotence in the marriage bed. No: That waitress you saw one time last year will be sad when she reaches Heaven and finds out you didn’t mean it.
I.m reading everything you’re sending and it’s split down the middle as far as I can tell. All I can tell you is please read carefully. No one was trapped in a conversation with me they didn’t want. As I said the server got my attention as we were leaving. Do you get the attention of people you’re glad are almost out the door? Also I don’t remember the conversation down to the last detail but it was maybe a minute tops. Hope this gives things a little more clarity.
EDIT 3: Lmao yall I see my post got tagged. I don’t know if that means they counted or what but I guess what I.ll do is apologize to my wife in a more formal way and see if she.ll tell me why she’s been bringing this up over and over.
Train wrecks are not salvaged with flowers.
She doesn’t even seem mad anymore really, it’s just coming up every time she talks to me it seems like. And I never addressed it but I already apologized sincerely right after this happened last year. And again numerous times. I don’t know how I can do it any better.
Also yall are ridiculous! I got two messages saying I should get divorced by her immediately and one person said it was evidence of some kind of crime and I should be in jail! Yall I can’t with that one, but thanks to everyone who gave me reasonable input. I guess when this many people see a post I’m gonna get a few unhinged people. I will make a update if I ever get to a solution if this sub is okay with that.
Can anybody propose a solution for Bub? One that won’t require him to be honest or tell a woman No?
I don’t know where you found this horseshit but I’m glad you did.
The husband of one of my wife’s friends is stupid just like this. Creepy as hell and tries to play it off as just being a ‘nice’ guy.
Thanks for calling him out.
My wife is 25 and I am 24.
There’s a problem, right there.
For the rest of the meal my wife was silent. I could tell something was wrong. When we got to the car, there was a moment of pause between us and I asked if something was wrong. She replied, .Are we going to stop at Walgreens and pick up some clippers?. I asked her what she meant and she said obviously since I was enthralled with our server.s shaved head she had to do something to win her husbands attention back. I was .blatantly. flirting with our server, apparently. It spiraled into a huge fight with my wife accusing me of wanting to experiment with an exotic-looking woman because I was tired of my boring old wife.
Bub, I normally sell these to dumbass little Gen-Z’s like you, but this one being for something so obvious, I can’t in good conscience charge you for it, so here’s a FREE clue:
It was your wife’s BIRTHDAY, you dumbass! Put yourself in her shoes on that evening: on YOUR special day, the one day of the year that is legitimately all about YOU, would YOU want your husband focusing for even a second more than absolutely necessary on any other human being, especially another WOMAN?
Sheesh, what a moron. Even in my deepest ocean blue of blue-pill days I would have known better than to even think of pulling a retard stunt like that. And with a BALD creature of indeterminate sex? Imagine if the situation was reversed, if it was YOUR birthday and your wife was flirting with a waiter who was a clone of Boy George! Wouldn’t you be a bit pissed off?
Wait, don’t answer that … you’re Gen-Z, so God only knows what your answer will be.
Slightly on topic, Sinead OConnor went from kinda nuts to where in the hell is she nuts. it would be of note that she had the “shorned” look for a few years. If I crack jokes with a bald chick, it is usually to be funny and not a cuck.
‘Can anybody propose a solution for Bub?’
If the boss wouldn’t get mad at me, I would propose seppuku for 95 percent of American men, make that males. So at least one thing in their sorry gelded lives might smack of masculinity.
I can see a man not wanting to offend in public, especially in a place of business. And who knows if Bald Barbie had a bunch of white-knight male friends that would have presented a threat if Bub had offended Bald Barbie.
I’d suggest that Bub should have thanked the waitress for bringing their food, and then resumed speaking with his wife. It would have been perceived as rude to not address Bald Barbie’s bald comment, but this would have been less likely to lead to issues than answering truthfully.
It is really unfortunate that many in our society are so immature, that giving a dissenting opinion can lead to threatening situations, whether that be physical threats, cancel culture, or some bitch screeching at you while you are trying to enjoy dinner with your wife.
Since the guy (claims he) did apologize, the fact that his wife is still complaining about it a year later suggests his wife is also lacking in maturity, although not nearly to the same extent as Bald Barbie. Yes he was stupid. It happens to the best-intentioned men on occasion. Be upset, communicate the problem, and then make an effort to accept the apology and strengthen the relationship. Bitching Barbie is not a good look on any wife.
My wife is not sinless or perfect of course, but I am very grateful I had too much self-respect to marry the kind of women that were available to me in Canada. #$% crap batman.
I would propose seppuku for 95 percent of American men, make that males. So at least one thing in their sorry gelded lives might smack of masculinity.
Unfortunately, something like ritual seppuku requires masculinity to begin with. That eliminates those same 95 percent from ever doing anything with the idea but shrinking back in horror at it, most crying to Mommy to protect them from the nightmares that are sure to enter their brains traumatized by the concept.
Maybe the only realistic plan for those 95 percent is to sell some of them to wealthy Gulf Arabs as sex slaves, others of them to the North Koreans as targets for the Army to do live firing exercises on, and rest to Big Pharma to serve as guinea pigs for vaccine testing.
I don’t think a little friendly banter with the waitress is out of line especially since it was brought up by the waitress who was either attracted to him, or more likely just wanting to be flirty to increase her chance of receiving a larger tip from him. Just because it is the wife’s birthday, still doesn’t mean she gets to rule over her husband, by imposing a draconian sexual-blockade on her submissive husband that even keeps him from friendly conversations with other women that are unavoidable. Apparently the wife has turned the situation into a fitness-test of her husband’s Alpha-male status, and even a year later he still keeps failing it.
Bub should just tell his wife that she is being silly, and that he can’t help it if other women find him attractive. The dread-game will help her to stay in line and attracted to him. All the groveling, apologizing, and claims that he is a social-eunuch who is innocent in what his wife is claiming may have been a sexually charged moment between Bub and Sinead, only amount to repeated failures on his part to be stalwartly masculine. His initial reaction should have been just to tell her to get over it, that women are going to be hitting on a stud like himself who exudes the masculinity that women want. Then, she will quickly get past it and be reminded of why she also had found herself attracted to an Alpha-male like himself. All his serious effort to combat his wife’s fitness-test, only lends it more legitimacy and is counterproductive. He just needs to laugh at her and tell her, that is the price she has to pay for marrying a pantie-dropper.
I think he did the right thing, being polite to the bald freak. It’s the path of least resistance.
I live on the west side of Los Angeles. Very lefty-liberal. If I were to tell a waitress that her bald head is ugly, it might create a scene. The manager might come, and I might be barred from the place. I might even build a reputation as “a hater.”
If I told the people I run into every day what I really thought — that masks are BS, that I voted for Trump, that divorce is wrong, that women with tattoos are trashy, or that so-and-so’s little girl dresses like a slut — I’d get into several screaming matches per week, and maybe a physical fight every week or two.
He was right to be polite to the waitress. If his wife complained in the car, he should have said, “Oh, c’mon. I was being polite to the freak. But if you wanna look like a freak, then yeah, go shave your head.”
‘Maybe the only realistic plan for those 95 percent is to sell some of them to wealthy Gulf Arabs as sex slaves, others of them to the North Koreans as targets for the Army to do live firing exercises on, and rest to Big Pharma to serve as guinea pigs for vaccine testing.’
Sold!
Insightful article about “gyno-fascism”: https://www.takimag.com/article/the-rise-of-gyno-fascism/
@RPL:
Great article by Taki!
Practical conclusion: in order to reverse course and clean up the current estrogen-generated mess, we need a benign dictator who is also misogynist and homophobic.
benign dictator who is also misogynist and homophobic.
Bolsonaro and Putin’s love child.
Unrelated: I have never understood all the -phobic phrasings. ‘Homophobic’ means ‘fear of man’. I do not fear man- I am a man. All the other similarly phrased terms birthed by leftoids (eg. it is ‘fetusicide’ not ‘abortion’, ‘progressive’ is anything but) are equally void of sane rationale.
Oh look, facismo is now ‘far-right’ according to the Wiki https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fascism
I wonder if 99% of the politico and academic zombies even know why they are using terms like ‘left’ and ‘right’. They use terms whose origins might greatly upset them..
‘Great article by Taki!’
Well it’s in Taki’s Magazine, but Taki could not have written such a piece. Ain’t in him.
A few years back TM had one of the best commenting sections on the planet. The commenters got a little bit too honest about the role of feminism and empowered women in America, and next thing ya know, voila! the commenting section was permanently disappeared. Without explanation.
Apparently at the demand of . . . Taki’s daughter. Who was the ‘editor’ of the magazine.
Back then the magazine carried its logo/icon at the top of the first page. The icon was of a crowned princess. Hmm. Not there now. Hmm.
The current piece by Z-man was pretty good, although very little, very late. I guess princess figured the deal already is done in New Amerika and it was safe to publish such an article. Let the disempowered males have a little moment of resistance, what can it hurt. The turkey already is cooked.