Failing Faster: Police Recruitment Standards!

Clown World brings us something new every day! This day, we’ll take a glance at how Democrat urban strongholds are preparing for imminent civil unrest by  militarizing their police departments. More specifically, by copying the modern military recruitment strategy of

1. lowering standards until until enough warm bodies appear

2. maltreating veterans until they quit, and

3. indoctrinating everybody in Critical Race Theory until triggers aren’t just for the guns they’re holding!

I just cannot imagine how the Russians are winning that conflict so decisively. Nor will I be able to fathom the law enforcement skills of my city’s latest crop of donut-eating badges:

Can You Climb a Chain-Link Fence? The NYPD Wants You.

h ttps://www.vice.com/en/article/jgp8qg/nypd-fitness-job-standard-test-is-easier

By Trone Dowd, 6 July 2022

Sure I can climb a fence. It’s the only way out of a public school!

Desperate for recruits, the NYPD has significantly eased its overall fitness requirements: No longer will prospective cops need to scale a 6-foot wall. They only need to get over a chain-link fence.

Hopeful officers will also have more time to complete the “Job Standard Test,. the NYPD.s physical endurance exam, according to the New York Post, which first reported the changes. Whereas recruits were expected to complete the six-part obstacle course in 3 minutes and 28 seconds before, they will now have an additional minute.

Wow. If they were any more desperate then they’d start punishing the crooks that police risk their lives to bring in. Or drop those vaxx & mask requirements. They might even, in extremis, find somebody else to blame for black crime.

Nah. Never.

A video shared with the Post last year allegedly showed some prospective recruits struggling to overcome the wall obstacle, known as the “barrier surmount..

It’s dated but let’s do it anyway. All of the following must be done with a 14-pound vest. *checks youBoob* Aww, they didn’t enable comments.

Stage One of six: “Barrier Surmount”. You must climb a six-foot fence to reach the other side. My elementary school’s fence was fifteen feet. I would be looking down at a six-foot fence. With a running start, I might not even need hands.

Stage Two: “Stair Climb”. You walk up a staircase.

…Just a staircase. With handrails. No catch. Not a wall, ladder or rope… just a portable staircase simulating a single flight of stairs.

My elementary school had those, too. Real ones, even.

Stage Three: “Physical Restraint Simulation”. Think “tug-of-war simulator.”

I did tug-of-war in elementary school, too. It was junior high when I got to physically restrain a thief for the first time.

Stage Four: “Pursuit Run.” 600ft looping around traffic cones.

I did that in elementary school, too.

Stage Five: “Victim Rescue”. Aka “make sure his spine is broken”. Instead of lifting a dummy and fire-carrying it for distance, you pull a dummy along the ground with the help of a pre-fitted rope harness. A method guaranteed to rub his every injury on every dirty rock and shard of glass to be found.

I did NOT do that in elementary school… but the girls did, if you count pulling each other around by the hair while throwing tantrums.

Stage Six: “Trigger Pull”. You pick up a simulated handgun…

…and pull the trigger sixteen times with your right hand, then transition and pull the trigger fifteen times with your left hand. No score for aim.

Now, you might think that’s epically stupid. You might think that magdumping should not be considered a valuable skill for a big-city cop who will be constantly and inevitably surrounded by innocent bystanders. And you might be right. But there’s a catch! You have to keep the handgun level inside a nine-inch vertical loop. (No simulated recoil.)

They’re screening out hood rats who fire gangsta-style… I think that’s the reason… in addition to screening out recruits too squeamish to pick up & operate a handgun without flinching badly enough to shoot down an airliner instead of a perp.

And yes, I did trigger pulls in elementary school. Squirt guns counting as “simulated handguns”. My generation was just before the continuously-powered Super Soakers so we had to work those triggers!

…

That test is BULLSHIT. What kind of manboobed oval lardass could possibly fail a physical test that maxes out at simulating a Stair Master?

The NYPD defended its decision to alter the physical test.

In the previous test, you had to climb a wall instead of a fence. No footholds.

.Our physical fitness requirements in the Police Academy have been reviewed and approved by New York State Division of Criminal Justice Service,. the department said in a statement.

Bullshit go into the recruiting office, bullshit come out of the recruiting office. I am pleased! This could not happen to a more deserving hive of pedo-Talmudic scum and vibrant villainy.

The NYPD is just one of the dozens of law enforcement agencies struggling to replace officers who’ve retired or resigned in recent years. So far this year, 1,472 officers have retired from the force, and 647 have resigned from their posts, the New York Post reported earlier this month. Meanwhile, just 561 new recruits graduated from the academy this year.

In 2021, a total of 3,152 officers left the department.

That’s not a recruitment problem. That’s a retention problem. Why do those cops not want to be cops anymore? (A rhetorical question after Saint Floyd.)

The Police Benevolent Association, the most powerful police union in New York City, said the solution to the waning number of recruits shouldn’t be to relax the fitness requirements.

.It.s not watering down hiring standards,. the association wrote in a tweet. .Just pay a competitive market wage..

They could support the cops doing their job, stop blaming them for blakk crime and give a passing thought for the idea that competence & loyalty might be more valuable than an immune system burned out by vaxx boosters. Or, they could throw taxpayer money at the problem until it goes away. Hmm, what’s a Marxist politician going to do?

Police departments around the country have been struggling to respond to the officer shortage for years.

Literally around the country, as in, the heavily Marxist coastal zones.

A national survey conducted by the Police Executive Research Forum in June 2021 found there was a 45 percent increase in officer retirements nationwide since 2020, while resignations increased by 18 percent. On average, police departments are filing 93 percent of their available positions, the study found.

If they mean “filling” then the Red/Blue divide is becoming a geographic reality.

The lack of new recruits has resulted in police departments that are stretched thinner than ever. Their recruitment woes coincide with the falling public perception of police, which has struggled since 2020, according to a study by the Pew Research Center.

That falling perception is also a result of Saint Floyd. It’s the moment I stopped backing the Blue myself. If police won’t protect themselves from the mob then they won’t protect me, either.

Several departments have tried to combat the shortage by offering cash incentives for recruits. In Washington, D.C., the Metropolitan Police Department offered recruits a $20,000 hiring bonus upon earning their gun and badge, a tactic that several other police departments, including Chicago.s, have considered or adopted.

“Stay the course and throw other peoples’ money at the resulting problems.”

Other departments, such as in Portland and Tacoma, are offering experienced officers who move to their city upwards of a $25,000 bonus to jump ship.

Wow, it’s a full one-twentieth of a down payment on a single-bedroom condo!

Meanwhile, police in Syracuse decided to double down on their efforts to introduce a career in law enforcement to residents early on with its paid teen-cadet programs.

That is also a military recruitment strategy: hook ’em before they’re old enough to know better.

Other departments have resorted to enticing new recruits in more creative ways. The San Diego Police Department has offered new recruits $50,000 toward the down payment of a home.

One-tenth of a down payment! Even better! Do I hear one-fifth?

In New Hampshire, the Manchester Police Department listed qualified immunity, which gives officers protections against being charged with certain crimes, among the benefits of joining its team in a social media post last year.

EVEN BETTER! Meaning their honesty, not their attempt to recruit thugs by offering State sanction.

After a public outcry, the department took down the post and apologized.

It was worth a try. No, actually it wasn’t. Qualified immunity doesn’t mean jack post-Floyd.

This article was amusing for how carefully it DIDN’T address its own topic. The police recruitment problem is not money. Not a shortage of quality recruits. Not even the mass quitting of veterans. The problem is that our GAE rulers have become so detached from reality, that society is no longer able to both obey them and continue functioning. They demand that all police be body-positive vibrant persons of varying genders while seething at the Christian white male veterans for having the ability, and increasingly the motive, to punish them like their own searing consciences demand.

And like Russia, their insanity will ultimately be a win for us. Even if our rifles cannot penetrate enough blubber to harm a Globocop, we can still outrun them while they magdump at everybody in our general direction. That’s how *we* will be recruiting… from the collateral damage they cause.