Return Of the Twinkie Defense!

We true-crime hobbyists always knew this dark day would come. The day when the Twinkie Defense really is “I eat too much to be guilty!” It didn’t start this way:

Understanding the So-Called “Twinkie” Defense

h ttps://thecrimereport.org/2017/10/04/understanding-the-so-called-twinkie-defense/

By Stephen Handelman, 4 October 2017

.The devil made me do it..

You might not be surprised to hear a defendant in a criminal case make that claim. But what about, .Junk food made me do it?. Or cough medicine? Or caffeine?

Although not especially common, these kinds of arguments are still made in criminal cases. In fact, there’s even a name for such claims.the so-called “Twinkie defense..

The phrase “Twinkie defense” was coined by the media in 1978 in coverage of the trial of Dan White, who was charged with murder for the shooting deaths of San Francisco Mayor George Moscone and Supervisor Harvey Milk. However, the Twinkie defense is really a myth.

As explained in the San Francisco Gate, the defense presented evidence that White suffered from mental illness, including depression. A psychiatrist testified that White’s excessive consumption of junk food.including Twinkies.exacerbated his symptoms and was proof of his depressed state.

But the defense never claimed that eating snack cakes put White in a sugar-induced frenzy that drove him to kill Moscone and Milk.it was the press that pushed that angle. Rather, the actual defense in the case was that White suffered from “diminished capacity” and acted “in the heat of passion..

The jury apparently bought this argument and convicted White of voluntary manslaughter instead of murder.

I prefer to think he got special consideration because he did the world two favors.

The corruption of San Francisco began during the Cold War. Sodomy was a crime in the US Navy usually punished by dishonorable discharge. San Francisco was the city where the Pacific Fleet dumped most of its share. Unwilling to return home in shame with their sex life revealed, an entire generation’s worth of North American homosexuals stayed in San Francisco. So many of them, that the homosexual population there was able to reach critical mass and begin wielding political power.

Harvey Milk was the politician who brought them mainline, into control of the city with the assistance of allies such as Mayor Moscone. The foothold established, Communist infiltrators took notice, partnered with the Sodomites… infiltrators such as Willie Brown… and working together, the moral cancer went straight up the river into Sacramento like a bad case of syphilis.

Los Angeles suffered a similar but less extreme fate, being also a deepwater port supporting the Navy.

That is how California fell early into Globohomo. But I digress.

Despite the truth, the term “Twinkie defense” has become stuck in the public’s imagination and the media’s vocabulary, essentially being used as shorthand for any defense in which the accused blames the consumption or use of some substance for his or her actions.

Since 1978, variations of the Twinkie defense continue to be made, expanding beyond junk food to include other substances.

For example, Matthew Phelps, an aspiring pastor in North Carolina, was recently accused of stabbing his wife Lauren [123 times] to death. He says that he woke up to find her covered in blood on the floor but couldn’t remember what happened that night. Although Phelps believes that he attacked his wife, he claims that the cough medicine he took to help him sleep caused him to black out. On Sept. 25, 2017, Phelps was indicted on first degree murder charges.

He originally pled not guilty, then changed it to guilty in order to ensure he couldn’t be sentenced to death. Odd that such a recent story would be cited in the context of the Twinkie defense 40 years ago. Perhaps the demand for Christian murderers outstrips the supply.

Anyway, the original 1978 Twinkie defense was not really “eating high-sugar snack foods means I’m innocent.”

BEHOLD NEW AND IMPROVED 2023 TWINKIE DEFENSE!

Transvestite cleared of exposing his genitals to women at Ohio YMCA after judge ruled his fat played a concealing role

h ttps://www.theblaze.com/news/transvestite-cleared-of-exposing-his-genitals-to-women-at-ohio-ymca-after-judge-ruled-his-fat-played-a-concealing-role

By Joseph Mackinnon, 8 May 2023

Just when you thought the transsexual agenda couldn’t get any uglier.

An Ohio man was charged earlier this year for exposing himself to multiple women, in one instance with little girls present.

While the presiding judge in 31-year-old Darren Glines’ case determined there was “no question that Glines was in the women’s locker room,” he ultimately let the transvestite off the hook because of the YMCA’s gender identification policy and the transvestite’s giant gut.

TheBlaze reported in February that Glines was charged in Xenia Municipal Court with three counts of public indecency for exposing himself in September, November, and on a third occasion with kids present . all fourth-degree misdemeanor charges.

A Greene County mother told WLWT that she was “upset” and “shaken,” after Glines, of Fairborn, allegedly exposed his penis to her and her 13-year-old and 16-year-old daughters in one of the reported instances.

Despite having an intact penis, Glines allegedly told the concerned mother that he was in fact a woman.

Scumbags like this don’t stop until they’re forced to stop. Usually by being out of breath after climbing a street curb. And when I call him a “bag of scum”…

Reduxx reported that Glines weighs over 350lbs.

…I’m talking smack about his diet.

So, you’re never naked when you’re 400lbs of lard? Come on, judge, at that size you ain’t nothing BUT naked.

The mother reportedly found no help from the director of the YMCA, who indicated that Glines and men like him couldn’t be stopped from entering women’s spaces.

The YMCA of Greater Dayton refused to bar the male patron from the once female-only space.

“Under no circumstance will we investigate an individual’s birth identity and then assign individuals to locker rooms. That would be counter to the law, counter to respect for all people and it is not who or what we are as an organization,” the organization said in a statement.

Hopes that Glines might be held to account were dashed on April 28 when Judge David McNamee cleared Glines in Xenia Municipal Court, noting that the YMCA permitted him to be in the women’s locker room and his gut likely covered his penis, reported WHIO-TV.

McNamee worked in private practice for 23 years, then Greene County Juvenile Division in 2016, then Gov. DeWine appointed him Xenia Municipal Court Judge in 2022.

“There is no question that [Glines] was in the women’s locker room. However, [Glines] was not charged with trespass, nor was [Glines] charged with being in an area of the YMCA where [Glines] was not supposed to be,” McNamee wrote, citing permission provided to Glines by Fairborn YMCA executive director Jacqueline Brockman.

Glines’ activist attorneys Lauren and Keara Dever argued that in addition to having the permission to parade around naked in the women’s locker room, it is “fair to say that the whole genital area was covered by body fat.”

Yo mama so fat, she can’t get her dick up!

The ruling makes a twisted amount of sense. Once body fat exceeds a certain percentage, it’s hard to tell if those are boobs or manboobs, and the groin is… gender-neutrally no longer seeing daylight. Is morbid obesity the budget way to effect a gender change? from human to spherical? I don’t remember shapes being genders in math class but that plus in LGBT+ covers a LOT of surface. Area, I mean. Topics.

But then, how did the plaintiff know that the fat chunky identifying as a woman in the women’s locker room, was actually a man? if his spare tire was functioning as clothing? There are lots of fat chicks in Ohio. Some with beards.

“Hey baby, you wanna…”

“EWWW GET AWAY FROM ME YOU PERV!”

“…see something? Wait, I didn’t even put my Twinkie down yet! Did you just fat-shame me for maintaining my blood sugar in a gym?”

Maybe if Judge Mcnamee eats enough GMO Monsanto snacks, people won’t be able to see his shortcomings either.

The organization told WLWT that “Greater Dayton YMCA adheres to Ohio and Federal laws and antidiscrimination laws which allow all members access to its facilities and programs, regardless of religion, national origin, race, color, sex, age, disability, gender identity, or sexual orientation.”

BUT NOT SIZE?! HAHAHA!

The solution here is to narrow the doorways into the womens’ locker room enough that 350lb lardasses no longer fit. No more pedophiles! And no more fat chicks of Ohio, so sad, but they aren’t a protected class.

When you’re that fat, you don’t need protection. Except from harpooners.

RedState indicated that two precedents are set in this case: “First, if a man is so fat that their genitals can’t be clearly seen, then it’s apparently fine for them to get naked in front of little girls at a YMCA…

Such behavior is unacceptably disgusting, true, but for entirely nonsexual reasons. “She didn’t see my crotch; she only saw my belly button hanging down to my knees!”

The more worrisome precedent here is that the morbidly obese can go “clothing optional” anywhere and everywhere. I know that putting on a muumuu (so aptly named!) is unpaid hard work, but they make special tools for that now. “They” being recruiters for the 21st Century United States Marine Corps. Nothing says amphibious assault like a whale with legs.

Further, it is now apparently acceptable for a man to get naked in front of little girls as long as the degenerates at the front desk of an establishment give him permission to enter the woman’s locker room.”

Society will always have perverts. God has given the job of hunting them down to government. The direct implication here, is that any government that protects the perverts is no longer a legitimate government in the sight of God, because it is no longer performing the function that God reserved for it.

That is also unacceptably disgusting… again, for entirely nonsexual reasons.