Barbie the Feminist Reviews Barbie the Movie

What do the movies Sound of Freedom and Barbie have in common? Young girls being sold into sex slavery for the enjoyment of men! What the Deep State does with armed kidnappings in the dead of night, creeps do with matrimony! No wuving God would allow such a misogynistic crime to happen, and if Jesus is anything, He’s more wuvs than a kitten in a blanket.

Aside from some other Churchy stuff that Barbie doesn’t think about. It can’t be important if it’s not trending on social media, right?

As Christians, we can learn something from ‘Barbie’

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By Aleassa Jarvis, 8 August 2023

We can learn that matriarchy is hell? That a woman who gets everything she wants, will still be unhappy? That a fully actualized life of materialism remains spiritually void?

For sure, we can learn… that the Fall Of Eden was not a one-time event.

Some critics are saying, .Don’t watch .Barbie., go see ‘Sound of Freedom’ instead.. I’ve actually seen both movies and I believe they share a similar underlying message.

In .Barbie,. the main character lives in a seemingly perfect Barbie World . a female-driven society in which the Barbies are all intelligent, strong, and celebrated super-achievers. The Kens in Barbie World are little more than complementary accessories, whose main purpose is to look good and cheer on the Barbies.

And Ken was happy, right?

Well… at least Barbie was happy… right?

One day Barbie wakes up to find she is less than perfect, which is devastating to her. Barbie goes to the real world, in which she discovers that everything is upside down . she finds a patriarchy, where she is objectified and even hated. Ken, on the other hand, starts believing that patriarchy is where he can finally be valued. He takes this idea back to Barbie World and establishes a machismo hierarchy where the Kens are in charge and the Barbies cater to their egos.

Wokism increasingly sounds like it’s jumped the shark… that its “smash the patriarchy” movies are increasing in popularity, but only because the audience identifies so strongly with the villain. The red flag for that is when the reviews are more popular than the actual show.

Ahem.

The movie is a hilarious satire built on a reversed world of extreme gender stereotypes, but the writing is incredibly deep and full of beautiful moments if you’re willing to peer beneath the surface. Both Barbie and Ken ultimately discover that each of them has equal worth…

No. The self-absorbed and materialistic are not of equal worth to a man who goes out of his way to take a risk at improving the circumstances of his life.

…and that gendered power imbalances might feel good to those in power, but they actually exploit and harm everyone.

Akshually, those gendered power imbalances are increasing quickly in popularity! If DisneyCorp has done a single righteous thing, despite its every single intention, it was pushing Gender Equality until it passed infinity to became the sampaku-eyed toxic broken wine aunt of Social Justice. I hear that Zoomer girls have begun rejecting feminism because they don’t want to end up like a Disney Princess.

Burn, Kathleen Kennedy! Nobody wants to be you when they grow up.

.Sound of Freedom,. by contrast, is a dark, gut-punch of a film. Two children are kidnapped in Tegucigalpa, Honduras, and sold to sex traffickers in Mexico and Colombia. The main character, Tim Ballard, embarks on a journey to find them and it yields the liberation of many more child sex slaves and the start of his nonprofit organization, Operation Underground Railroad.

Critics have pointed out that some of the rescue tactics depicted in the movie and the way in which child trafficking was portrayed, can wind up doing more harm than good. Those are valid points worth considering.

Here’s another point to consider: E.P.S.T.E.I.N.S… I.S.L.A.N.D. If reviewer-Barbie had listened to those critics, she would have heard them blaming the mothers of trafficked children because the alternative is admitting the existence of a global network of pedophiles operating at the highest levels of government. Women most affected, indeed.

Even so, this powerfully told story brings to light the horrific reality of human trafficking, calling on moviegoers to end this form of modern-day slavery. It also makes two crucial points . that sex trafficking is fueled by the supply and demand of pornography, and that “the United States is one of the top destinations for human trafficking and one of the top consumers for child sex..

Two lies in that sentence. One, porn doesn’t make men violent or cruel. The proof is that you, dear reader, are still alive. Consider how the Information Age has pushed the amount & availability of porn beyond the wildest imaginings of the ancients. If porn was a gateway to impulsive sexual violence then civilization would have murdered itself circa Betamax.

And two, don’t conflate white people with ((white people)). The same demographic that brought Negro slavery to America, is now bringing child sex slavery to America. We should punish them.

What connects the two films is that both showcase the ramifications of a world in which we dehumanize and objectify our fellow human beings.

.Barbie. uses humor and over-the-top satire to illustrate how harmful and demeaning it is for one sex to rule over another. The movie calls out patriarchy and abusive men specifically, and for good reason. When Will Ferrell’s character commands Barbie to “Get back in the box, Jezebel,. many women know exactly how that felt.

Whaaat?! THAT got said in the movie?! Dayumn… maybe I should watch it.

Likewise, when America Ferrera’s character pours out her powerful speech at the end, many women felt every single syllable.

Aaaand maybe I was right the first time.

How’s that gender equality working out for you ladies? Oh, that’s right. It’s equity now. Because one gender is more equal than the other.

Also, mental illness is now at an all-time high, concurrent with female empowerment. Women most affected, yet again!

You women are in rebellion against men in general and your husbands in particular. It’s you women, not porn, that are driving sexual misconduct. You refuse to boink the man you should, and boink every man you shouldn’t instead. How is that not rebellion?

.Sound of Freedom. employs blunt, heart-breaking imagery to illustrate the horrific abuse that happens when someone decides that another person is theirs to use. When the hero of the story resolutely declares, .God’s children are not for sale,. we felt it in the depths of our souls. Humans weren’t created to be owned, used, and dominated by other humans. We were made for freedom.

Women WERE created to be owned, used, dominated… and to be happy that way. God make women to be servants of men. When women go all strong & independent, is when my boxed wine investments pay dividends.

I’m dropping kitty litter futures, however. The next growth market for feral wymyn, post-vexxination, will be in the mortuary sciences. What’s this? There aren’t any funeral homes or casket-makers on the NYSE? How odd. It’s not like my Congresswoman, Diane Feinstein, to miss such an obvious… ohhh. Right.

Another common thread is that pornography, sex trafficking, and what we know today as patriarchy all share the same core belief . that one person is entitled to exercise power over another person through control and domination and that one person is less human than another.

That is how women think… in terms of power, control, domination, status. Men are the cooperative sex. Men just want to boink. Feed us, too, and we’ll happily give you females the world.

Starve us of boink and we won’t get violent. We’ll just boink elsewhere. Child sex slaves from the Amazon river basin are not as fun or cheap as one-off Tinder dates. Or porn.

Or your best friend, girl! Not that we would… but we certainly COULD, hahaha!

That’s what the anti-porn movement is all about. It’s not about Biblical morality… it’s about rebellious women protecting their monopoly on boink, to exercise their one power over men that God meant to be given freely.

The loudest critics mocking “Barbie” insist that American women have nothing to whine about, that women are already regarded as equals, and that they should stop living with a “victim mentality..

Yeah, that’s another sex difference. Men don’t like to claim victimhood. Which proves, I suppose, that some humans with male bits really are the pussies they claim to be.

If true, why do varying studies reveal that 57% up to 91% of American men admit to regular pornography use?

Because our women deprive us of sex.

Why is the U.S. a top consumer [and] producer of pornography?

Because our women deprive us of sex. And again, you’re conflating white people with ((white people)).

Is that because American men view women and children as equals?

There is no equality. There MUST be no equality! As I just stated, women think in terms of dominance and power dynamics. If her man doesn’t put her in her place, then she’ll go feral.

If her man DOES put her in her place, the Bidenreich will defend her against God’s Plan for Humanity. What snakes they be!

More troublingly, Barna research indicates that 68% of churchgoing men and over 50% of pastors consume porn regularly. Is that because they view women as equals?

Let.s be honest. When we say that .68% of church-going men struggle with porn. what we are really saying is that 68% of churchgoing men struggle to see women as fully human.

You heartless bitch. First you won’t put out, then you blame your man for finding an alternative. Does it hurt, when you get outperformed in the bedroom by an iPhag? I hope it does.

If you think I’m exaggerating, are you aware that popular social media influencers now encourage Christian wives to take pole-dancing classes?

Hee hee. Like I said, the young chicks these days don’t want to end up like… YOU. With your globe-trotting career and your drinking habit and your kitchen bitch and your damaged little trophy bastard. No, the new girls want husbands who give them healthy & happy kids and let them play with their girlfriends while he works. What a hardship, that that husband would then expect cleaning (like you’d do anyway) and meals (like you’d cook anyway) and child care (like you’d insist on doing anyway) and some nookie, which he will happily make fun for you if only you make it fun for him, too.

Or consider these words from pastor Doug Wilson of Christ Church in Moscow, Idaho: “All Christian wives, in all Christian marriages, occupy a subordinate rank, and it is always bad for a subordinate to be insubordinate..

Word!

How about this from Jack Hyles, who once preached: .For every single man in prison for rape, there ought to be right beside him a half-naked girl in the next cell..

Word again! Does this Hyles guy run a church, and is it within my commuting distance?

Michael and Debi Pearl’s blog and books, Created to Be His Helpmeet, and The Bible on Divorce & Remarriage, instruct wives to .stop defrauding your husband and start pumping him dry about every day or so. If he is younger than 25, make that every day and twice on Sunday . If you do not cheerfully, joyously make yourself a willing participant, you are the tool of Satan to bring your husband down..

WORD AGAIN! This author is covering her ears and screaming past all the warning signs like Thelma and Louise flooring the gas pedal! She’s gonna blow, folks!

Not to belabor this, but none other than pastor John MacArthur has said:

.Man is the sun and woman is the moon. She shines not so much with the direct light of God, but that derived from man . woman was made to manifest man’s authority and man’s will as man was made to manifest God’s authority. The woman is the vice regent who carries out man’s wish . She demonstrates her significance in the world in response to the direction of men who are given divine dominion..

None other than pastor John MacArthur tried to turn this Globalist Slutwalk Barbie from the error of her ways.

Perhaps these critics have never been girls who had to change their clothes to protect grown men’s minds, had to kneel down to have their skirt lengths measured, or had to endure a teen girl’s youth group session where they were compared to a chewed-up piece of gum, un-sticky tape, or a wilted rose [if they lost their virginity].

She’s not an unchaste whore. She just dresses and acts like an unchaste whore. Trust the Science!

I laughed and cried through “Barbie.” I cried through “Sound of Freedom.. The latter calls attention to the horrors of a world in which people are dehumanized and objectified in the worst possible way. The former seeks to open our eyes to the entitled, power-hungry belief systems that can build such a world.

“He touched me! My entitled, power-hungry husband! It was horrible!”

She actually does have a husband. Let us have a moment of silence for that poor man… nah. He’s probably a male feminist.

As long as there are churches in this country teaching women that they are more easily deceived than men…

Do mirrors reflect your image, Aleassa? Because you aren’t reading what you just wrote, and I want to show you the problem.

Seriously, you just listed four Christian authorities telling you what the Bible has always told you, to respect and obey your husband… so you compare obedience to hubby, to being a kidnapped sex slave.

…that men are entitled to unconditional respect, that husbands will be unfaithful if they aren’t given sex on demand, that marital rape does not exist, that wives dishonor God when they leave abusive marriages, then we cannot claim to say women and children are equal to men.

She knows! She knows she’s guilty! Look at her twist words to justify the unjustifiable!

As long as there are churches in this country teaching women that female bodies of all ages are threats to men’s fragile sexual integrity, that God calls women to martyr themselves to abusive husbands…

That’s in 1 Peter 3:1.

…and that women and children can provoke rape or assault with their clothing, that blames teenage victims of clergy sexual abuse, we cannot claim to believe that women and children have equal worth with men.

Followers of Christ are called to love as Christ loves. Christ-like love challenges and levels ungodly hierarchies, empowers the weak and vulnerable, protects children, and sets captives free. It is for freedom, after all, that He came.

Ahh, we end with some refreshingly honest heresy! Freedom from slavery, freedom from a husband! FATHER God would never want a PATRIARCHY!

What does that freedom sound like? It sounds like voices raised that were once silenced. Some may mock or belittle those voices, but the Church is called to a love that listens, honors, and spreads the Word. The shared messages in “Barbie” and “Sound of Freedom” call us to this if we’ll listen.

Lead the way, dear Church.

Barbie: “Let’s spread the Gospel!”

Ken: “Okay… Original Sin is humanity’s great flaw. Eve rebelled and Adam simped and then…”

Barbie: “The other gospel. Of freedom, and dressing like a prostitute without judgment, a place where virginity is never valued.”

Ken:

I never saw the movie… because that’s how it should have ended.

Aleassa Jarvis is a freelance writer specializing in women’s issues and trauma-informed ministry in the church. She and her husband have spent most of their married life in local church ministry and international mission work in Central America and the Caribbean. Her years working alongside vulnerable women and children inspire much of her writing.

8 thoughts on “Barbie the Feminist Reviews Barbie the Movie

  1. What is it with modern Christians to fixate on “equal?” Will their faith in Jesus fall apart if they just drop the word equal?

    At least she doesn’t have two last names.

    What does she think of someone like me, who won’t see either movie because I think we have too much entertainment in our lives for a people who are called to disciple others and to be light and salt.

  2. Hmm, Jack Hyles is dead. Plenty of controversy regarding him postmortem… accusation from a woman means nothing to me, but hidden doors to his office and a trip to Hawaii with the “girls” is reasonably suspicious.

    I bet if I checked, I’d know who hurt Alyssa. Hyles being the one of the four that is not like the others.

  3. I don’t really follow famous celebrities much. Can someone please tell me who are the man and woman at the ball game in the “Ken and Barbie” meme? They kinda look familiar, but I cant place them.

    Also, Gunner, I must say your grasp of theology is excellent. Ever thought about joining the clergy?

  4. The Long March started in the church for a reason.
    Is Westboro Baptist still around!?
    LOL! Wiki early life calls it “primitive” but what’s so about fire and brimstone anyway.
    They were way ahead of the curve regarding the sewer pipe that is Amerikwa the Kwanstain.
    The wymyns will be prattling on about 1000 years of glorious victories as it all goes up in smoke.
    Oh well, useful idiots get what they deserve.

    .They are an impatient lot., he said, .they paint the world as they would like to see it and insist that it is true. But they never have the patience or fortitude to ever actually see it through. They hide from their own shadows and possess no end-game besides fostering their own illusions. Victory, therefore, shall be ours..

    Ho Chi Minh

  5. It’s a new meme template I found on imgflip under ‘mansplaining’. I don’t know who they are, but the guy could be J.C. Denton from Deus Ex.

    “Ever thought about joining the clergy?”

    Fuck the clergy. The entire Christian Church died on their watch. The entire institutions of marriage and fatherhood died on their watch. They are the most cursed and apostate generation of false Christs in the history of Western Civilization. Join them? JOIN THEM?! I WILL PISS ON THEIR GRAVES!

    Meanwhile, Churchians aren’t listening when I warn them, so I don’t want to help them recover afterwards. Especially now that the Regime is pushing for another round of lockdowns, masking and deathjabs.

  6. “Still waiting for Gunnar to spell out to you his views on the Roman Catholic Church. Pretty sure you won.t be a fan.”

    He already knows and I didn’t want to derail the previous post with a heartfelt answer. But for the record, I think poorly of woman-worship and bureaucracy, and there’s no greater condemnation of the Vatican than the fact that it’s become one of this fallen world’s most powerful and iconic organizations.

    Some Catholics are Christians… I’ll let God be the judge… but since I can’t comprehend their intentionally insular system anyway, I generally avoid Catholicism. No point in rehashing old history. Been there, done that, got the shirt. “Status quo”

  7. There is no defense of the RCC. The institution was corrupt from the beginning, and has oppressed, murdered, and led people astray for entirety of its existence. There is no .our side.. You can pretend all you want, and you sound like a nice enough guy, but that is cognitive dissonance to know how wrong a thing is, but continue in it. Just happened with Covid. But I.ll be honest with you, I am pretty certain that it was the prayers of my RCC grandmother that led me to salvation through faith (fully a Protestant, non denominational, non church conversion). So I do believe that there are people in the organization with pure hearts.

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