Travelogue: Deadwood

GunnerQ takes a prepper vacation!

I can’t say where I was. The place might not even have a name, just a section number on a township plat. A homesteading family needed slave labor to help butcher cattle for the winter and wisely chose a blogger over a Negro. Me! And why not? I’m practically an expert in meatpacking after two hours of “The Bearded Butcher” on youTube.

What could possibly go wrong? (The answer turned out to be “don’t set up your beef hoist on a slope”.)

“Burger” the Vegan.

MEAL Team Six lines up the shot… a copper-tipped .223 special…

One shot, one kill, one less vegan! ‘Murica!

I’ll skip what happened afterward. While social media happily displays pictures of mammals wearing no clothes, it still frowns on displaying mammals wearing no skin. Suffice to say, even a smaller steer like this one yielded enough beef that we were up past midnight getting it dressed, packaged and into the deep-freeze. Food for a year!

Meanwhile, Commiefornia tried its best to increase the price of bacon by demanding “humane treatment” for politicians, excuse me, pigs. Memo to our Christ-hating leadership, “humane” is how you’re supposed to treat humans. Pigs get porcine treatment… and if you insisting on mixing this up then your turn will come, you swine!

To nobody’s surprise, I eventually wandered off the plantation. There were lakes and cliffs… deciduous trees turning their fall colors…

…and a scarecrow that drove an Edsel off a cliff in the middle of nowhere. Because reasons.

Much like his country, this bald eagle was feeling a bit frazzled from a recent storm.

Despite this post’s title, stay away from Deadwood. That place grabbed its ankles, asked for the Vegas treatment and is now a tourist trap. Not good tourists, either, but drunken fat old farts pretending to be cowboys while playing the nickel slots.

We stopped there for food after a hard day of hiking and the only decent place to eat was a humble hotel & restaurant. Just a typical American diner but the chef wore an awesome cowboy hat with an eagle feather and the waitress was a skinny Goth with amazing tits, electric blue hair and an illegible wall of text down her arm that she swore was a tribute to her mother. It actually felt like small-town America! The food was okay and cheap enough that you didn’t feel like hoping for a miracle at the video poker afterwards.

The trip went so well that the family offered to take me in if Commiefornia should spit me out. And y’know, I’m thinking about it now. There’s nowhere to go where you can expect good government, so the opportunity to go where you can expect good people is the best that Current Year gets.

They were Good People.

One thought on “Travelogue: Deadwood

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *