And just in time for Cuck-Mas!
ST. ALBERT, Alta. . A man in Edmonton who made international headlines for holding onto a wrapped Christmas gift from a high-school girlfriend who dumped him nearly 50 years ago finally learned what it was on Thursday when she travelled to the city and opened it for him.
Adrian Pearce, now a married father of two, received the small present wrapped in shiny, purple paper shortly before Christmas 1971 from Vicki Allen, who was his very first sweetheart at George S. Henry Secondary School in Toronto.
But when she handed it to him, she broke up with him. Dejected, Pearce returned to his family’s home, threw it under the Christmas tree and vowed never to open it.
The story last December about the unopened gift appeared on TV, newspapers and websites around the world. And as Allen stood on a stage in a packed cafe northwest of the city and peeled away the paper with Pearce standing beside her and his wife, Janet, in the audience, she herself didn’t know what she’d see because it was so long ago and she’d forgotten.
“Oh no!” Allen exclaimed when she finally saw. “I can’t give that to him!”
It was a small book called “Love Is: New Ways To Spot That Certain Feeling” with a cartoons and sayings about love.
“The irony is extreme,” Allen cried.
Oh, God, please make the pain stop.
Adrian Pearce, new holder of the World’s Record for Longest Time Pining For A Cold-Hearted Skank. If the lines around his eyes are any indication, his current wife is a piece of work, but I don’t want to go too hard on Janet Pearce:
For years, even after he’d married, Pearce still placed the dog-eared gift under the tree every Christmas. He enjoyed the mystery of it, but eventually his wife put her foot down when their daughter, then five, wanted to open it.
The poor wife, watching her husband pine for that lost love… for THIS lost love:
They learned the reason Allen dumped Pearce all those years ago.
It turned out that while Allen was shopping for Pearce’s gift at the mall, she met another boy and he kissed her on the spot.
“It wouldn’t have been so bad, but I kissed him back,” Allen said.
You held a torch… for half a century… for THAT.
Pearce has since written a book about the whole experience, and his wife and Allen contributed chapters.
“The Swinger Life in Alberta”, I’ll guess.
“I think it’s absolutely fantastic that we’re friends. My wife is friends with (Vicki),” Pearce told the crowd.
“We’re in a fantastic place where all you can feel is love.”
Or as the New York Post put it:
Wife stays with moron who put unopened gift from ex under the tree for 47 years
“They learned the reason Allen dumped Pearce all those years ago.
It turned out that while Allen was shopping for Pearce.s gift at the mall, she met another boy and he kissed her on the spot.
.It wouldn.t have been so bad, but I kissed him back,. Allen said.”
I too have a similar story about an ex and gifts but with a much more pragmatic ending.
A girlfriend of mine did the breakup thing with however about week after the breakup she comes over unexpectedly to give me some gifts. After she leaves…I look over the gifts take them to the burn barrel and lit them up.
I talked with my brother about the breakup…he said ‘she probably met another guy’. I didn’t want to agree with him, but I agreed with him.
She broke up with you, monkeybranched to a new guy, realized you were better and tried to come back? The burn barrel was a good call.
No my brother made that statement as the probable reason she broke up. It’s probably a 9 times out of 10 scenerio.
I really have no clue what would have motivated her to come back after she broke up with me to give me gifts afterward. I wasn’t going to be a total dick and reject the gifts to her face. I just waited until after she left.
I don’t know GQ ..
These
guysmenz claim to be channeling “Socrates” [sic].https://www.wral.com/the-new-iron-johns-seek-catharsis/18047298/
It’s said .. IRON SHARPENS IRON” .. but apparently they aren’t reading that book.
They must mean “iron” in the context of laundry…