He Ain’t My Savior

Hat tip to Soviet Man for the link! Zambia has managed to do what at least three generations of professionally trained, overpaid clergy in USA never could: distill why Christ Jesus is the savior of humanity to the concentrated, simple purity of “Africa wins again”.

Zambian Pastor Dies After Asking To Be Buried Alive For 3 Days To Emulate Jesus. Resurrection

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By staff, 24 August 2022

A Zambian self-proclaimed prophet died after his attempt to recreate Jesus. resurrection backfired spectacularly. 22-year-old Pastor James Sakara died after he asked his followers to bury him alive for three days so that he could miraculously resurrect.

Had he succeeded, I would have given serious though to whether I should continue following Christ. See, I’m going to die. The only way I don’t stay dead, is for somebody who can overcome death to rescue me on the other side. And if he cannot save himself, then he cannot save others, right?

At the moment, Christ Jesus is the only guy on record who resurrected Himself. There are accounts of people brought back from the dead by folks on this side but the problem there is all of them died again and it stuck. It was only ever a temporary reprieve.

Had this Sakara guy brought himself back from the dead then he would have been a legit alternative to Christ, because Christ doesn’t do franchising.

Hmm… as a thought experiment… I think I would still stay with Christ, because I’d rather endure suffering for God’s sake than kill myself for a publicity stunt in positive thinking. “Look at me doing a Jesus, everybody! See you in three days!”

There’s also that whole Judgment Day thing. Could a Zambian madman wash my soul white as snow? Let’s keep reading to find out!

Sakara who was a pastor at the Zion Church in the Zambian town of Chidiza somehow convinced his congregation that he could come back from the dead and resurrect on the third day. The charismatic pastor is reported to have also dabbled in traditional medicine. In preparing his congregant for the resurrection miracle, Prophet Sakara quoted Luke 22:19.

.And he took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, .This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me..

The Zambian prophet is reported to have focused on the last part of the scripture. According to his interpretation, Jesus wanted his followers to remember him, not only by partaking of the holy sacrament but through Ressurection miracles as well.

I want to call him a Satanist because he obviously tried to become a counterfeit Christ, but I just can’t rule out that he was merely too stupid to live. Rarely is it this obvious, that the devil is on the wrong side of history and his minions are on the wrong side of the bell curve.

While most of Sakara’s congregants baulked at helping him to perform his outrageous resurrection miracle, three men stepped up to help their pastor.

They are reported to have dug a shallow grave, tied up the Prophet’s hands and buried him alive. The three men and other congregants returned to the grave after three days to check on their pastor and welcome him back. Unfortunately, things had not gone according to plan, and the “man of God” was found dead.

Now why would a man step up like that?

Members of the church are reported to have performed a series of “spiritual exercises” to resurrect their prophet. Unfortunately, it was to no avail. Prophet James Sakara was unable to emulate Jesus and rise from the dead after 3 days.

After realising that their prophet was dead, two of the three men who had assisted him went on the run. They are currently wanted by the police. The third man handed himself over to the authorities.

Boom, there it is! Sakara couldn’t save himself from death nor forgive the crimes of His followers. He’s a double-fail Jeebus.

Don’t look at me like that, Christ my Savior. Comparing You to the alternatives is what makes You look good.